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Originally Posted by Anne2.0
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I miscarried my first pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy baby on my second. I think miscarriage messes with your head and your self confidence at some *core* level, and now might be about the most difficult time to try to work on these issues. I think it would be enough to get through every day without falling apart in anxiety or giving up having any sense of mastery over your body or your life.
Pregnancy after miscarriage is, in my experience, very de-stabilizing. It just brought me to my knees, made me feel about as competent as an idiot (well, until I had the baby, and those things tend to generate feelings of incompetency as well).
You have a lot on your plate. It sounds like you could use some more support.
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Thank you, 'destabilizing' is exactly the right word. I think it's also coupled with the fear that if this one goes south I may never be a mother -- I'm now 35, and I clearly have fertility issues. I'm just trying to take it day by day and keep to my normal routine as much as possible. Thank you for the reminder that it can work out, and the chances are it will work out rather than not. I'm sorry you had to go through this as well, but I'm glad you gave birth to a healthy boy.
The only people who know about the pregnancy are my best friend and husband. I was private about my last pregnancy too, and only told people about it after I miscarried. Most people were pretty unsympathetic, and my midwife abandoned me and left me to deal with a horrific miscarriage -- literally couldn't walk for three days after, nearly blacked out from the level of pain.
Luckily I had the support of a great bereavement midwife. When I found out I was pregnant again I called HER, and she arranged an early scan for this pregnancy and found another midwife for me, otherwise I'd be seeing the same one, and there was no way that was going to happen. The scan went well. The sonographer said everything looked fine so far and we could see the heart beating.
Maybe I should just dip into this forum for support. I'm trying to deal with this by myself, which maybe is putting too much on myself.
Anyways, thanks for letting me blather on. It's nice to talk about the hard side of this. My best friend is great but she's romanticising this pregnancy to the extreme, and it's starting to grate. I find it baffling, given she's had two miscarriages and has never given birth to a live child. She's a painter, and she literally won't stop talking about how I want the nursery painted, which is so, so, so far from where I am right now.