I think often about this, especially wishing she was able to see me in a setting where I was more "competent" at making eye contact, carrying on a conversation without extended silences, being articulate, making decisive decisions, feeling confident, and displaying other skills I regularly do as a functional, successful adult; skills one would probably never know I possess if only sitting in a therapy session with me.

I think I know deep in my heart she has to know this side exists. Sometimes I wish, though, she would acknowledge it.