I may be very primitive and lacking in understanding about this, but it doesn't matter a whole lot to me what someone's intent was. If I get hurt or annoyed, then I am hurt or annoyed. It may be easier for me to just "get over" if it becomes clear it wasn't their intent. And/or, if it wasn't their intent then maybe it's easier for them to hear that I am annoyed and maybe, possibly, avoid doing the same thing in the future. Though if it's a kind of automatic response in them, AND they can't read cues (as I think I can't very well), or if they respond with excessive guilt if I try to talk to them about it, then they may continue to do the same things over and over again anyway. Or else get very guarded, which is not necessarily what I want either.