You’re certainly not a disappointment for us in here. You do a lot for many people! You care a lot and show concern and that is some of the most valueable things to have in life. Many people cannot do that.
I have the same feelings of letting people down. I think it’s pretty common. No one is on top of it all. It’s just about doing the best you can. Sometimes that is more sometimes it is less.
I hope you are better now. If not then please keep writing.