Hello Spookydoggo: I believe this is your first posted thread here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I don't think there is really much I can say with regard to what you are experiencing. I am glad you're planning to go back to therapy though. And since you are... one forum, here on PC, that may be of particular interest to you would be the psychotherapy forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.