Im trying to recognize and understand a debilitating feature that i experience but am struggling with it majorly since my .. personality.. is unable to stay still..

I over analyze everything trying to get every last drip of information out of every instance...
Which isnt the problem i think, im highly empathetic and insightful...

But thoughts, judgements, ideas, descriptions of me, from others is something that is destroying growth currently...

Its not so much what others think about me. Its more of that everyone could be right on any judgement with me... as i seem to be so many different people...
And thats what hurts me, not feeling whole, feeling fraudulent, fake, as if other people know more about me than i do, that it demonstrates how little i know who i am, and shows how little control over who i am that i have..

How do i accept that this all is me..? To accept that its ok to be like this and people dont hate me or judge me negatively for having a deformed personality..?

I fear socializing now for the fear of being called out... crossing paths with 2 contradicting type people that pull out an unfamiliar inside of me causing confrontation or drama ..


All i want at the end of the day is to sleep easy having had no issues through the day but if i cant figure this out my isolation will just be the only relief it seems...