Well, mom came and got the girls and took them to church first thing this morning. She didn’t have room for my son though so she insisted I take him. Well, between the depression and meds, I can’t get up in the morning. She called me numerous times to get out of bed but it didn’t work until 12:15 when I finally woke up. I felt anxious and severely depressed right away. I took a shower because I hadn’t had one in days. I sat on the bathtub floor for probably 40 minutes before I actually got up and bathed. Then I dried my hair and went to mom’s (my son was already there because he and my youngest had spent the night). The first thing mom said of course was she was irritated I didn’t take my son to church. I’m telling you, I’m not Catholic, neither is she but we both were raised Catholic and both know how to lay it down hard. And, does she not make me feel horrible!!! She told me I couldn’t expect to go to bed at a reasonable time if I sleep until noon. Well, for one thing I am depressed, and for another, I am, albeit illogically, afraid to go to sleep. I’ve been doing what I can to stay awake. Oh well.

I’m not sure if I’m going to work tomorrow. I’m thinking no. I am petrified about it and Friday I experienced derealization in a classroom. I don’t think I can handle that again. I have 18 sick days and am in the fmla process so I certainly CAN take the day off but I feel horrible doing that to my teacher and other assistant.