I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, OliverB I completely agree with what mote.of.soul has already wisely said - you're NOT a fraud. From what you wrote it's clear that you're struggling and that you're not living likfe like you would want to. That definitely sounds like depression to me. Even if it wasn't, and it is, what matters is that you're struggling right now, and you deserve to get help and to feel better. That's what's important. You're not wasting anyone's time by taking care of yourself - you're definitely not wasting yours. The good news is that you were able to do something despite your depression, and that means that you're strong and that you CAN get better, and that's great! Try to hang on to that. It won't be easy, I know. But things can get better. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. You're a wonderful person, OliverB. Stay safe and take care of yourself. We all love you here. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you