most people already have herpes. my boyfriend had never had a cold sore ever. i havent had one in over a year but magically one popped up on him. so he had the virus from before, didn't kiss me when i had a cold sore, and still had one pop up. i think that type of the herpes virus is amazingly common and most people do have it whether they have outbreaks or not. and like others have said, just because you dont show signs of an outbreak doesnt mean you cant spread it. you can have sores inside your mouth and not notice and spread it.