i kinda just always wished i looked different than i do. like this isn't my body and there's nothing i can do about it because were all stuck in this same body that isnt ours. i dont not like anyone else in the system but this isnt what i want to look like. im just gonna talk like this is my body cos that will take less time. im not very pretty, but i love clothes and i love makeup. i love looking at clothes and hair and things. i love really colorful things and pastel. my favorites are Lolita and Fairy Kei if anyone knows what those are lol. but i kinda figured out a long time ago that i was never going to be the pretty that you see in magazines. i dont have a good figure, i look young but not really feminine without makeup. its not a look people seem to like. not on me. only one person has ever called me pretty and that didnt go well.
i like to dress up bu then i realize that under all the clothes and makeup its just me, and im not very pretty without them. its kind of sad. like really sad it makes me sad to not be comfortable with myself. its weird cos i dont think fashion is a bad thing cos i love it but it also makes me feel bad to think that im not pretty, not like i want to be.