Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
Sisabel, your husband sounds difficult for sure, but also supportive of you, so it seems you have a mixed bag. Yet you spend more time apart than together and he is too grouchy, moody and doesn't want to see people. It does sound like an unhappy marriage in my opinion, and I am soooo very sorry to hear this.
You could branch out even more and make your own friends, get out of the house even more than you do, but that will lead to even more separate lives. And yes, I think it's indicative of trouble in the marriage when two people generally spend more time apart than they do together, and on purpose.
I don't have the answers, but I feel for you. It's not an easy situation, and I do see the positive aspects that he gives you. He's just plain difficult!
Only you can decide what you can tolerate and how much you're willing to put up with. Life is short -- far too short -- to be unhappy for a prolonged period of time.
And it's not you -- these are real issues in the marriage that seem to stem mostly from him being the way he is.
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He’s difficult for sure. He came home from work this evening and talked about it with me. I told him how unhappy I am. I told him everything I shared with you guys here. He listened and said he always wants me around and he knows he’s grumpy... he apologized for last night’s argument. I was surprised he was easy-going this evening and he did not want to debate the whole issue like he usually does.
He’s a very moody guy who likes to be a loner. I have a really hard time with it. But on the flip side of that he’s also very generous, loyal and kind and funny. It’s a mixed bag for sure. I’m not perfect either but he doesn’t seem to have a clue how much I try to work around his grumpiness.
I don’t know that anything will change. I do know that talking with you guys helped me stay focused on speaking up versus getting more emotional about it. Add this to the list of my many issues I need to see a counselor about... I feel kind of like a loser to say that but it’s true... there are many issues to discuss. I will end up bombarding the therapist when I see her next week.
I usually feel too embarrassed to bring up marital issues... ever... I never do it... I never bring them up to people IRL because in the past people have used stuff like this against me. So I end up holding all of this in and getting really sad about it. Thank you for letting me vent and for not being judgmental. I’m still worried about the whole situation but maybe things can get a bit better. I have no idea. [emoji3590]