You really need to contact a lawyer for this type of advice because each state has different "rules". It will determined by which state the divorce is filed. And if you are considered a Kentucky resident or California resident. Some states you have to live in a minimun of 6 weeks to be considered as a resident. Some longer.

With most lawyers you can get a "free" consultation session. Be sure and write down all the questions that you have to make the best of your time because the next time believe me it WON'T be free. This will also allow you time to decide if you can trust this lawyer and want to contract with that person. I do recommend that you not sign a contract on the first visit. Just tell the lawyer that you need to digest the information that was provided and you will contact them again within a week. Go home and "think" about what all is said in the session and allow yourself time to go through the information clearly to make sure you understand the terms. Also, check online as to whether what the lawyer told you is correct information or go to the local library in the law section and research for yourself. Lawyers are "salesmen" in the court. They can lie better than anyone. The better the sell, they more they get. Also, the more informed you are the better outcome for you. And at this point, they idea is to get out with what you actually want.

You MUST know what your legal rights are BEFORE you do anything. You might be surprised in the information that you collect. Just because someone says it doesn't mean that it will be that way. That is why there are divorce laws. Consider a contract "by the hour" fee vs. a "blanket" percentage fee. You need to know how many actual hours are spent on the case with a full disclosure of itemized costs and also the lawyer will work faster if they know they are working by the hour clock and will only get paid when they actually work. Some lawyers will take a case with a percentage down and then just sit on the case and drag it out because they are busy on other cases. It is a system to get "cash flow" when they can to stay afloat and cover expenses. If there is a law school in your area, you might want to consider talking to one of the Professors and ask questions (not get legal advice) about how fees are done in Kentucky, etc. Ask around about a good lawyer if you don't have one. The best way to do that is get to know the secretaries in the courthouse and get their comments or ask people you know and when the same name keeps coming up.......that will be the person you should look up and get records on from the courthouse as to how they handled other divorce cases. Every court case has to be filed as "public record" and anyone can go and ask to read them because they are public record. You would be amazed to know what you can find out at the courthouse if you just had time.

I say all this because it is important for your future financially as well as emotionally that this is handled professionally and in your best interest as you will have many years ahead to be prepare for and might need every dime you can invest now. I know in California that everyting is split down the middle regardless if you have been married for a certain time period.

I want to wish you the best as you inspired me to start thinking and planning myself. I am in a situation a lot like yours but there are a lot of assests involved and I would have to move out of state too. I have about 5 years before I can retire though so I may not be as lucky to get out as quick. But I am taking "planning" steps to learn and figure out what is best for me too. He will not give me a dime before the court orders him too so I have to be able to be financially independant for at least a year.

Best wishes in your quest and I wish you much success!