Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5
I seriously have no clue how anyone does anything consistently, it feels impossible for me.
I really dont like the church system after growing up in it although a few times I have thought of going just to be have "something" with other people, I havent though. I dont have any friends, well one person has had me over for coffee a couple times in the past year so I guess that is a friend.
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Same here, I can't maintain a regular meditation practice. I need to be sufficiently at ease to be able to sit down. If I do, it calms me down and gets me into a better mood, but it really only works when I least need it. Plus it's perfectly possible to worsen manic episodes by meditation.
Church: all depends on the congregation. If people are nice I enjoy socialising. No one needs to know I don't believe in large parts of the doctrine, and I think it really doesn't matter anyway so long as it somehow shines a ray of light into my darkness.
On self-destructive tendencies: yup, have them too. I regularly self-sabotage any chances of career if I even lasted long enough. No idea why I'm doing this. Plus my crabby and irritable moods are probably hard to bear for anyone. I've been self-medicating lately and got praise for improved attitude, though. Not saying this is great. And I know alcohol is a destabilising depressant, but I still drink. Plus self-harming tendencies not otherwise specified, speaking in diagnostic jargon
