LT- as much as you may doubt this now, I think your t is a good mixture of hard-***/but compassionate and that I think is the kind of t you need. He at the same time can understand your transference (I think he really gets it) and affirms those feelings, but keep boundaries and not become enmeshed as he noted you and mc seemed to get tangled in. I think consciously or not you sense that from him, and you get afraid and want to find another t who you may feel you have a little more control over, or somebody who seems a little more “emotional.” If you are going to stick with therapy I really think current t is the right guy. I think you two will do great work together. However, as always just another opinion take it or leave it