so confused, i just got laid off, which is okay because i can't seem to keep focused or keep a job for six months. not good at all. my hunny and i have been together for 1 year 1/2 now and he just got his truck driving lisence and he loves it. generally we are doing great but he doesn't understand depression, anxiety and so on. we just moves to this new city and we're finally getting it together. it's hard for me to finish anything so like i said we're doing good. now i try not to burden him with my struggle but i think that he is depending on me to figure this whole thing out although i tried to explain what i've been going through ALONE all my life, i think that he just doesn't know how to help me yet he does try to make things lightly at times for me and that's great. but sometimes when i'm overwhelmed he backs off or gets frustrated and that makes me feel horrible. so i have that same feeling with others because i don't think that they understand so i just want to hide, stay home, sleep and so this all (among other things) feels toxic to me. and i never know when this feeling will end, so anxiety sets in and then i panic. when i'm done with that, i start crying over the silliest things and i get so sensitive (almost child like) and i make no sense at all. after the clouds have cleared i get into this spaced out mode and then it's like i get redirected to another challenge or the page has turned. i don't understand, i try and try to fallow a straight and narrow, be optimistic, and keep walking ahead but then i get these cycles of messed up madness. i'm really worried that he'll get tired of this roller coaster ride and that this will be the reason of a good thing.