I never had a headache in my life until after they started giving me anti-depressants......they would start headaches that were killers & wouldn't go away....so I would go off the med & try another that would do exactly the same thing. I wasn't in a good place at the time & had many suicide attempts.....stupidly OD's of the meds that caused the migraines. I guess I was asking for it or something because the migraines got to a point where they would never go away.

The only relief I would get was the few hours after the 200mg demoral shot they didn't want to give me in the ER.....not only didn't they want to give demoral....but definitely not that high of dose to a person as small as I am.

I tried the imitrex, maxalt, all those & nothing....absolutely NOTHING. They tried some pain medications that did nothing. The neurologist put me into the hospital for a week treatment of IV DHE or something like that......along with that, he gave some morphine & I ended up itching my skin off. If I hadn't wanted the suicides to be successful before, the migraines weren't making sure I did now.

They tried stadol (a strange nasal spray).....wow, when I first used that....I saw little men running all around me room.....realy a strange halusination that med caused.

They finally did an MRI on my neck & found that I needed a neck fusion......I went through that surgery & nothing....no relief. The pain specialist in the hospital for my neck fusion put me onto the duragesic fentynal patches.....the 100ug/hour....only it didn't work. I started going to a new pain specialist rather than the neurologist.....he tried all kinds of other pain meds on top of the patch....but nothing....absolutely NOTHING & I was in the ER about every 3 days needing relief from the pain & the pain specialist just wouldn't listen. He tried some nerve block treatments & nothing there either.

They finally came up with the actique...it was fentynal in a lollypop.....at least that was what it was like.....so every 4 hours, I would need another one to keep the migraine pain gone....but it worked....I actually had no pain between the times when I took the med. I could finally function.....then...they changed the way they made the actique & it quit working. I figured it was the fentynal that was really working, so why didn't they just put me on another patch.

This pain specialist finally suggested that if I had extra patches to go ahead & try to double the dose up & see what happens. My husband was in the office when he said this, but the next 2 weeks when I came back...he denied ever saying that & refused to prescribe the dose that actually worked....gave me a prescription for the higher dose for 1 month & told me to find another pain specialist because he wouldn't treat me anymore.....what a jerk.

But finding a pain specialist that was willing to work with me....oh. One I went to said my pain would go away if I stopped all meds.....so I should go through a weekend withdrawal in the hospital......but she suggested that I do it in the hospital where my Pdoc & psychologist had priviledges so she referred me to another pain specialist. When I went to talk with him.....he disagreed with going off the med & thought that he should prescribe me the higher dose since I finally had functional lifestyle back after all these years. That was in January of 2003. I have been on the same high dose for 5 years now....never needed any change....never became tolerant.....never became addicted....I could now live a normal life again....it was actually awsome & it helped my state of mine.

Then I moved here to KY & had to find another pain specialist that was willing to prescript the extremely high dose of narcotics in a state that isn't willing to prescribe them much at all. It has been an experience & I have posted a bit about it.

It's strange because there are times when I actually have the light flickers like the other day when my stress was so high. I was laying on my air mattress on the floor of my green bedroom & was seeing little square light flicks all around the walls of the bedroom. It is the strangest sensation to have the symptoms of the migraines without the pain....but It's really a blessing to have been free from the migraine pain for 5 years. I wonder if the pain might be gone & if it was just a chemical thing that was going on because of the antidepressants.....one never knows what the cause is.

The pain specialist I have now refuses to prescribe narcotics for headaches saying they don't work....except I have been the exception to that rule, so when he took me on as a patient, he wanted me to go to a pain psychologist to check out the reality of my situation.....I seem to be the exception to every rule out there.....but I continue to be on the 2 100ug/hour patches every 72 hours & continue not to have migraine pain.

After the neck fusion now, I am getting a crunching in my neck that doesn't sound good....I feel no pain, but that may be because on the high dose I'm on. I am also sure that it is covering up a huge amount of pain I am having with my teeth....that are all breaking off because of the bad enamel......it's scarry to wonder how much pain is really being masked. There are times when my fingers cramp up....like legs & toes do....it happens on both hands when I am holding something....it's not really arthritis.....but I feel a pain in my hands when it does that....so I can't imagine how much pain I woudl really feel without being on the fentynal.

It's scarry to be in a situation like this as one gets older....wondering what pains are being masked & what it's going to feel like once I get off the meds.....but I can definitely relate to the migraine pain....it was the worst pain I have even had. Even going into labour with my daughter didn't hurt half as much as the migraine pain.

My sympathy is with all that suffer migraines,
Debbie