Wow. Lots to be going through.

She is too young for a formal diagnosis of an Axis II Personality Disorder, but what you are describing makes one think of Histrionic personality disorder (no, not narcissistic at all). If that is the case indeed - meaning, if that is where she is leaning to in her development, then no wonder that DBT that has been built out for Borderline personality disorder and especially those truly suffering and hoping to improve, does not help her. Also, not everybody would like to fill out checklists and this does not seem to be her thing at all.

No, what you are describing as her being verbally aggressive in a manipulative sort of way is not a "manic moment", but more importantly, there is no such thing as a "manic moment" - to meet the criteria for mania a period for mania has to last a certain duration. Look up "mania" in the DSM - the DSM's list of criteria is on Wikipedia. Extreme mood variability would be more along the lines of Borderline personality disorder than bipolar disorder (borderline personality disorder is an Axis II disorder primarily treated by therapy and not formally diagnosed until the age of majority whereas bipolar disorder is an Axis I disorder primarily treated via a combination of pharmaceuticals and talk therapy and diagnosable in children and teens). I think you are extremely aware of your daughter's issues and attuned to her and should listen to your instinct; if she appears manipulative, powerful and almost omnipotent to you in how she engages the mental health and educational systems, then this is probably because she is and this behavior would not be consistent with bipolar disorder all that much.

To take a pretty big dose of 15 mg of Abilify being a growing teen without a clear (sans quotes) dx (dx = diagnosis) of bipolar disorder is a lot; most of these medications have side effects that have to be outweighed by clear benefits and it is not clear in her case what Abilify is used for - you are not reporting clear psychosis, clear mania, clear depression, which would be main symptoms the medication is used to treat.

I do not know how early a neuropsychological evaluation can be sought for a teen, but I would ask for it as soon as it is available. A neuropsychologist is a PhD psychologist who special training, who, on top of a clinical interview, will administer batteries of tests to your daughter that are specially designed to work around lies and manipulations - she won't be able to outsmart those tests.

Also, does she have an outpatient psychiatrist who specializes in adolescent psychiatry?