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Juliaspavlov: Is it possible to be a good parent
coming from a history of abuse, self harm,
addiction alcoholism depression and so forth as I do?

Just a thought for you to think about...

Like you, my own mother came from a history of various abuses. She was not a perfect parent although she certainly was a parent who tried to do the best she could do in whatever circumstances she found herself in. In spite of whatever personal failings she or I assigned to her, I loved her. More to the point, I felt loved by her.

Of the many gifts she gave me I do believe the greatest was not her perfection, it was her imperfection. It's easy to be pretty and shiny, and perfect. And yet, had I never seen my own mother be imperfect, I might never have known how to slowly come to peace with my own imperfections.

It's possible that a different stroke of fortune might have gifted me with a mother who taught me that who I was, was defined by my successes. Instead, I had one who taught me that I could fail and still be human. I consider myself to be one of the fortunate ones as a result.


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