Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5
My mind ran through things so fast it was a blur and the only thing I could fully see of my thoughts was me ripping myself apart. It was super bad.
Small town, I dont like most people, feel awkward in group settings and also dont believe in it so church just wouldnt work for me. I cant seem to figure out any way to make friends though. Between having kids so young, isolating myself on purpose and being so inconsistent it feels impossible. But oh well at least I have all of you plus I still talk to some of the people from my psych ward stays they just dont live here.
I have big dreams when it comes to career but that is one of the things that makes me want to try harder while also wanting to destroy myself. Pdoc, GP, T all say I could do it but its hard to believe.
I love alcohol. Not sure I will ever give that up,
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I'm an aspie and my social activities need to have a purpose. Skiing, hiking, badminton, I can't just sit around in a group and enjoy chitchat. Board or card games are in between chitchat and purpose for me. I love playing though I'm not particularly good at it, and need people that are either equally as bad or patient.
The importance of social skills for career is something I understood far too late in life. Being a hard working genius gets you nothing if no one wants to work with you because of your attitude. And I haven't yet found out how I could project positivity in the midst of a lousy depression, or being a likeable person when my mood is highly irritable. Aside of not being depressed or irritable, of course. Life could be so easy
Alcohol: I made it to the bottle shop just before it closed. Evening is saved.