Took Latuda for the first time tonight. Now my stomach is a bit upset and I have a poor taste in my mouth. Hopefully those side effects will dissipate and moreover, hopefully the med will be successful. I feel so terrible. I feel just like crying. And I don’t cry, unless I’m in a severe anxious depression...like now. I go for the IOP evaluation tomorrow. I was planning to go today but all of the appts were full so I would have had to wait forever as a walk in. It’s at 10 AM. I am scared to go to sleep tonight. As I have been every night. It’s just another irrational fear. I kind of want to die. My son overheard me say I was afraid I would never be able to work again and that I was afraid of going to sleep. He was in the living room when I said that out loud to my mom on the phone. He was very confused. I just ended up telling him I was joking. It’s hard for him to understand things like that. That is the other thing though. I am absolutely terrified of the idea of going back to work. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t even breathe when I think about it. I’ve always loved my job too but I just feel like...never...no way!!! It scares me to death. I just want things back to normal. So badly. [emoji22]