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Sunrise said:
..brought back to mind the awful, trapped and hopeless feelings of being stuck in a miserable marriage

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I hate when this happens. When I realize all the stuff I tolerate, I then start thinking, WHY do I put up with that? What is wrong with me?

Disrespected... that's how I think I would feel if my husband did that. I think porn objectifies women (and men for that matter). I often feel like just an object to men and I don't like feeling that way. Some blowup doll or some TV character who is simply there to get off on. If my husband was viewing this in my presents then it would be like he was telling me, 'hey your not a good enough object to turn me on.' 'I need to go out and look at other objects to get off on.'

I said I would be outraged, that doesn't necessarily mean that I would directly show that outrage. I use to be very good at being angry, but some how not so much anymore, I seem to let lot of things go unchallenged in my marriage for some reason. Anger like most of my emotions, I keep a pretty tight grip on how I express them. I will tell you however, the beast does make an appearance when I feel like a sex object. Viewing porn while I was trying to have a serious conversation would definitely bring out the beast!

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I think that he still doesn't get it.

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He probably will never "get it". That is why you need to be very clear about what rules you think should be in place regarding your children's exposure to this material. I would hope that you would be able to take legal action against him if he breeches the rules that are set.

I hope also that you can find ways of sharing your views on this content with your children so they understand why you don't think it is appropriate for them to view it, even if their dad thinks its OK. Maybe that is something you can talk about with the child specialist. How do you best communicate your values, beliefs, and moral to your children? You would need to do it in a way that doesn't seem like you are attacking your H. I'm not sure how to do that. You are in a very difficult situation, especially since you are raising girls and they are at an age where they are being bombarded with all kinds of mixed messages. (((Sunrise))) I can definitely see how challenging this situation is. I'm sure you will find a way to deal with this situation-- Make sure you don't shutdown and let it overwhelm you in silence.