I just want you to know that I feel your pain. I have experienced being lifted up and then pushed down by a therapist, not to the same degree as you have, but I got enough of it to know what you are talking about. There is really nothing else for me to say here. Life can be so cruel sometimes that you are just left wondering how these things could happen and get no answer and no one can give you the answer. I can only offer a hug and let you know that I "get it". I am sure there are many people who "get it" as well, though there are many of those who don't and never will..