I also isolate myself at all times. It does get worse when I am depressed but that goes to the lengths of staying in bed to be away from my H and kids and not answering the door etc.

Normally though it is more like what you have described. I was always the odd one out though no one treated me the way they treated you and im sorry you went through that. I feel that no one likes me and I am not sure what I do wrong. I can get along fine or even well with anyone but it never goes to the point of friendship.

So I choose to not try anymore and no it is not because I am always depressed. There just seems to be no point. My T also has been trying to push me to try but it feels useless, I am awkward around people I dont know except on the psych ward and at work, and I am already not friends with people I do know. Im tired of trying. She wants to figure out an expirament where I would ask people what they think of me but not in my small town. However my problem is absolutely not with initial impressions.

I disagree that it is different than high school cliques. My town is small and there are rarely new people and somehow they make their way into the cliques no problem. I have lived here my whole life I am simply too different, inconsistent, had my children young but quit partying unlike the other young moms.