Mckell, I felt it was like I was a baby trapped in an adults body, wanting what a baby would need but in myself as an adult to me it looks ugly and it really doesn't do me any justice...I actually saw all the ways I had presented myself in an infantile manor and didn't realise at the time I was doing it...didn't know there was another way to be...that there was another way...just finding this out for myself it changed so much for me.

Perna, Yes I did talk to T about a lot of the above issues..she agreed that whilst one is getting their infantile needs met its works ok, but when one isn't get this which as an adult one is going too, thats when its painful...adn thats just how it was. I was looking to others to meet these infantile needs in an infantile way and when that stopped it hurt...it was never enought even when I was kind of getting it..but I was also only attracting those that have a need to treat another adult as an infant..all very dysfunctional..