Tomorrow is the 1 yr. anniversary of that perforated ulcer I got last Valentine's Day. It nearly killed me, did in our finances, strained my marriage, woke up my ED (nothing like suddenly losing 10 lb. in the hospital to do that), started a whole horrible cascade of events with the bipolar getting too out of control. Made the bipolar mixed worse, not to mention transitioning to a new pdoc and getting situated on new meds because I got manic and couldn't sleep on the old combo of Trazodone/hydroxyzine.

The start of a long year of strain, pain & hardships; divorce was very close. Our marriage seems to be slowly mending, helped by H's new job. Not that we're rich, but at least we can afford the mortgage, bills, groceries, clothes for my daughter (growing like a weed). We have a bit less financial strain, will have better health insurance once it kicks in next month, and H can work from home Tuesdays & Thursdays (though he works late Mondays and Wednesdays, sometimes Fridays), which is nice for intimacy in our marriage (our daughter's room being across the hall from our bedroom and her becoming quite the night owl).

I hope this Valentine's Day will be much better. H will hopefully have a better birthday this year too. His birthday is Feb. 15, and I was in the hospital post-surgery wing, hallucinating with pain and the drugs last year; I don't think I even remembered about his birthday until the day I was released from the hospital 6 days later, and I was still hurting really, really bad. You don't just pop up from ulcer surgery; I was lucky to not have much pain after 6 weeks; lots of people get complications. Next month, I see the GI doc again. I hope he will take me off the Protonix as it ups fracture risks with falls, and I already have osteopenia with the ED, and it seems the fracture risk is greater than first thought as more & more warnings about it pop up every time on the info sheet when I get the Protonix refilled.

Really do need to see the pdoc again. I am not being completely compliant with meds, especially Seroquel & Lamictal, mostly Seroquel. The 500 mg makes me tired, so I just take 400 mg most nights, or sometimes 100 mg, not good, I know. Waiting on the better insurance though. I already have to spend $650 to get a crown next week at the dentist (and that is with dental insurance even...sigh).