There's no reason. I think my meds are fine probably. I'm just sick of being crazy. Having mental problems beginning at 12, that's half my life and a large amount of that time consumed in voices and other stuff. I just feel like I'm tired of trying. I've had long periods of relief but it always comes back. Im prolonging the inevitable, someday I'll be whatever age still being frustrated with this stuff and seeing no point in life but hoping for a better "tomorrow" that will never come, then I'll die , like everyone does, and that's the end of that. No point. I don't even know if God exists anymore. I don't feel connected to him at all now.

Thoughts like these have been coming and going for months and I kept trying to push them away because I figured they're just random intrusive thoughts. Put they keep coming back out and are consuming my mind even though I don't want them to. I don't want to die, I really am not a negative person, but sometimes that seems like the only way out of this.