I love my T; been with her for more than 10 years. (I'm not sure exactly how long thanks to ECT.) Lately she has been hinting that I'm not pushing myself hard enough, that I'm not persevering through difficulty. She asks me what sorts of things I'm watching for in myself to consider myself ready to move to a full-time job. For my part, I've told her I've lost most of my memory, that my professional mind is long since destroyed. I have no hope in getting back to a teaching position.

I don't know what I'm asking you here. Perhaps you have an idea of how I can talk to her about how her stance is making me feel? A month ago I felt like I should be hospitalised, for example, and she's talking about extending the interval between ECT treatments. How do I convey my struggle?