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Originally Posted by Daonnachd
I love my T; been with her for more than 10 years. (I'm not sure exactly how long thanks to ECT.) Lately she has been hinting that I'm not pushing myself hard enough, that I'm not persevering through difficulty. She asks me what sorts of things I'm watching for in myself to consider myself ready to move to a full-time job. For my part, I've told her I've lost most of my memory, that my professional mind is long since destroyed. I have no hope in getting back to a teaching position.
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Does she have experience beyond you in working with ECT patients? Why would she say something negative like you are not 'persevering'? That is akin to "you're not trying hard enough". HOW many times have we been told that??
"try harder"
"If you only.."
" You should"
"why dont you"
"How come you"
When is the last time you worked? What made you stop working? I do not know much about how ECT works but it would seem like it is something you have to get used to, and have very understanding coworkers and mangers. Your memory gets affected and right now treatment with ECT outweighs the ability to work. It may not be that way forever but right now its what works for you.
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I don't know what I'm asking you here. Perhaps you have an idea of how I can talk to her about how her stance is making me feel? A month ago I felt like I should be hospitalised, for example, and she's talking about extending the interval between ECT treatments. How do I convey my struggle?
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Is she an ECT expert? Someone who can make a professional observation on having more time between treatments? Personally I would be pissed if this were me. I would be so hurt and angry if my T said these things. I do not know how you process during sessions but I recommend you write her a letter and either give it to her on your way out or read it to her. Just so that you can have your thoughts organized and not leave anything out.