I tend to agree with sarahsweets. Your T is not taking into account the impact ECT has on our physical minds. Memory for one is significantly effected. I know this from experience. You have had regular, maintenance ECT - TO SURVIVE - yet she thinks you can simply go back to a full-time teaching position? She really needs some education, and/or better communication skills. Perhaps in the next session try to explain the serious, long-term effects on one ECT, not to mention the huge amount you have had. Then ask her how she expects you to 'push' yourself exactly. Maybe you could volunteer somewhere or something, but F/T work is out of the Q at this point.