I'm so sorry, Um0810 Perhaps you're struggling with social anxiety, or maybe you feel like you don't deserve to be love? Is that possible? You've said you've had some boyfriend, does that mean that you were able to engage in some social activities? I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feeling. I feel like it could really help you to talk about this and see how it goes from there. That's just my opinion, though. The final decision is up to you. I'm here for you if you need to talk. You know I won't judge you. We all love you here. We care about you here. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this