Not surprisingly, being Valentine's Day, a call came through from my ex-BF. I let it go to vm. I still feel quite firm about my decision in my head. And in my little book of reasons not to get hoovered in again. But. It has gotten me to wondering if someone is not abusing (or even using) substances at all, could they really change enough in what they do and how they think? Could they truly be so sorry as to make a radical change?

Or is it all just words.....

He feels that it "wasn't him", doing what he did. He asks forgiveness, which seems to at least indicate that he accepts responsibility for what he did. Or does it?

Can suffering big consequences from a major judgement error make one so truly sorry that they make radical change?

To reiterate, I'm holding firm. And he's not pressuring anything at all, only ever referring to a hope for some time in the future. And for my part, I'm approaching the whole thing with exceeding caution. Serious, serious proof would need to take place for me to even consider.

I'm especially curious to hear from folks who have had substance abuse issues. Double bonus points if you could be described as having sociopathic tendencies.

(Please don't move this thread to another area. I need feedback from those who know me and know the backstory. Thanks.)