I'm so sorry, Tryingtobehappy5 Please don't be so hard on yourself. Just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Is it possible that there may be a part of you that doesn't feel like it deserves help? Maybe you're hurting yourself because of that. I don't know, maybe I'm completely wrong. I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you. I can listen to what you have to say. I'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. I'm so sorry I can't do more for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this