I don't want people around me to hurt. This is really important to me. I can't stand it when they are hurting.

But lately I'm having a hard time pretending. Pretending I'm happy. I have a hard time to put a fake smile on my face. I have a hard time to bring joy in my home. I don't want to answer my phone or answer the door. I don't want to go out. I want to be alone all the time. And this is hurting others around me. They want me to be there for them but I don't want to be. I want to be lelt alone.

I think I want to be left alone because I don't want to be more hurt. I have no more place inside for it. I want to hide. Feel safe.

I have a hard time pretending and because of it I'm hurting others.

nightdream