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Tryingtobehappy5 · Feb 14, 2019, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry, Tryingtobehappy5

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Is it possible that there may be a part of you that doesn't feel like it deserves help? Maybe you're hurting yourself because of that. I don't know, maybe I'm completely wrong. I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you. I can listen to what you have to say. I'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. I'm so sorry I can't do more for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

I dont feel like i deserve anything anymore. Sometimes I feel like I would be happier if I lost everything because thats the way it should be and trying at all is too hard.

I really appreciated coming on here and seeing more encouragement tonight though. I have been taking my meds again, doing better with my kids and I was so happy today. But tonight for some reason Iost that again. I looked at my wellness plans from when I left the hospital the last couple times but it just all looked useless and the feeling was just so overwhelming

Possible trigger:

so I cut instead

I only cut where a swimsuit would cover and its not deep so it doesnt bother me but I know I shouldnt. I have lots of marks on my arm right now from my last manic episode and i dont want more

It was too late to stop that but seeing all these posts made me feel a little better for sure. I was feeling really alone with H working nights and not really having anyone else to talk to