Hi!
I did not see that there are new posts, I need to find the "notify me" checkbox...

Problems are accumulating. This week my oldest (and most affected) son decided to stay at his mother's place, so he will be 3 consecutive weeks with his mother. He does not want to learn and go to school and as he can manipulate his mother - and she him, he prefered to stay with her and she does not care about the court decision.

I called the court, again, but I think it will continue to ignore me.

@sarahsweets:
>Does Spain have family law lawyers that help with divorces and custody? If they do you need one.
I have a lawyer, but what can a lawyer do other than send information to the court and wait on the judge? I'm waiting 4 months to get the passports to register my children in the healthcare. Today my wife informed me that she has all documents from the court, now, I will see coming Monday if that is true.

I am still a little confused about the nanny/wife/you triangle. Did you say your wife told your daughter her first love or date or something was a girl? How old was your daughter when she said that? How old
Yes, my wife started as my 2nd partner and she told me and many more people including my daughter when she was maybe 7 that her first partner was a girl. Actually, I do not know anymore what stories to believe.

The "nanny" was a friend from the first day on. We lived in two camping cars (one US-Pace Arrow from 1978 and one Mecedex Benz Box from 1976) and moved around in Europe. The nanny aways lived as friend or part of the family, took no money and played with the children the whole day while I was working (on my laptop in the camping car) and my wife was caring about herself and a bit about the children.
So we were living with the "nanny" on smallest room, moving around through Europe, from the beginning. She became our partner about one year later but nothing changed for the children, as the nanny was simply living in the same way with the family as before.
My wife told my children after a few days that the nanny will be my second wife, my wife always "used" our children to attack me, every ranting had to take place when the children were watching so I would give in and would not argue asap.

> were the kids when you two became three with the nanny? Was your life lying all the time when that >happened and if so, what did the nanny think about it?
My wife lied from the first day I knew her when she became "our" partner, telling me that she has it written from her doctor that she cannot get pregnant just to become pregant 3 weeks later.
The problem is, my SISTER was like this as well and I thought it's excentric, but there is some "basic truth" to build upon. So I thought that my wife was a bit like my sister, always telling the truth " a bit different", but I did not understand that it is a disorder.
I found a letter I wrote to her in 2011 and it is just about exactly the same things as 7 years later: I cound not understand that she would not understand what she is doing and what the consequences of this would be.
The "nanny" came to us because my wife agreed that she does not manage to care for all four children when I could not help her for some hours. It was too much.

>How old is the nanny(your current partner)?
She was 19 when she came to us, facing 23 now.

>What do the police do when they respond when the wife's lover calls and makes false reports?
The police does not care, they write the report, the report goes to the judge, the judge talks with us and then tells him that he has no proves for his version so the accusation was be rejected.

>Are there consequences for making false reports?
No. In German, were I was born, that is different. Here on the Canary islands, no one cares much about anything.

>If he jumps in front of a police officer isnt that something he would be arrested for?
In the USA: yes. In Germany the police would have give him a fine. Here they say: stop it please and wait until my wife came and stopped him.

>Did the courts ever look at what your private detective found?
Yes, but they did not care.

>Can you appeal the decisions about visitation and other things?
No, it is provisional. I can ask for changing it, I did so, I asked for psychological investigation of the family, especially my oldest son, but nothing happens. Here it is ALWAYS good mother - bad father.

>I know these are a lot of questions but I am trying to make sense of it all.
I tried to answer in short.

>I dont mean to be judgy or make you feel bad but it just seems like having the nanny-turned- partner >in your marriage and then just your partner would be confusing for the kids but also fuel for your wife >to lie about.
1. my wife, before she became my wife, came into my partnership with another woman and we lived as three. My wife lied to me telling me that she likes this, while mobbing my first partner away.
2. the "nanny" came to us, because the situation was unbearable. My wife was not managing to keep a plan for homeschooling and her dis-ability became more and more visible. We had lot of stress, ranting, all before the children. With the "nanny", my wife and I had more time for each other and the situation could calm down, but my wife started to tell my children that the nanny and I would be in love to stirr up fights.
3. When my wife left me 12 years ago for the first time, she told my oldest son that time that her new lover is his new father and she took the children for more than 2 months away from me living with her new lover. That was 2007.
4. We have been a quite unusual family, from 2002 to 2018 we lived (subsequently) in 3 places in Germany, 6 places in Switzerland and 2 places in the Netherlands: 11 home-moves in 16 years! Then we bought the camping cars and moved through Europe.
My wife managed to make all neighbors hate us quite fast...

The kids do not know about anything sexual regarding and open marriage do they?
The oldest one is 16, she knows about everythuing, I think. The smallest one is 5, THANKS to the "nanny", she is NOT distorted, because the "nanny" became immediately the reference-person to my daughter. Now, they both are playing already for 3 hours non stop...

Rechu: Exactly. For the mythomaniac, if he says: "I will do that" he just wants the people to BELIEVE him (and pay). That's it. If you ask later "you did not do that?" the mythomanica starts ranting and accusing you of whatever to draw away the focus and stop any more discussions about what did "should have" done.

These people always create huge debts and problems with money is sure to come as there is no understading of the consequences of the own actions, including spending money.
But it seems the society cannot care less. Mythomanias are INSANE and should not beallowed to make contracts and should be treated as other people unable to care for themselfs.

But mythomaniacs look like serious people and other WANT to believe them so badly. Even if all is completely different than said, people tent to defend the mythmaniac.

Best wishes
David