I'm glad you've decided to talk to your therapist about this, seeker33! I hope he/she will be able to help you. You could learn some new ways to cope with your feelings. Especially this fear you have. I also agree with all the great advice HopefullyLost1211 gave to you. I hope it will help a bit! I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this