Antia, I think you're being too hard on yourself. It's unlikely that you'll just forget about this or suddenly get over it. You were betrayed and that hurts. You need to give yourself time to recover and your boyfriend, if he truly loves you, will humbly accept that.

You may want to consider couples counseling. Your relationship took quite a serious blow and the issues that now hang in the air between you two should be addressed.

Cyran0