I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Stuck1nhead Please don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault if you're struggling. Finding a job certainly isn't easy. You're definitely not alone in this. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. You may even improve your self-esteem a bit. Try to be a bit more gentle towards yourself. I'm sure you're a wonderful person, just like everyone else here on PC - you just can't see it right now. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. Take some time for yourself to decide what you want to do in your life. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Perhaps you could start from there to make a decision. Please remember that you're not a failure. As long as you're doing your best, you'll never be a failure. Please remember that. I'm glad you have a support system IRL. Remember that we're here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. I hope you'll feel better soon. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this