If I may add... the person that I've been having a bullying issue continued... perhaps I am triggered?
I said I would try not to take it personally, of his last actions (a few daya ago) but it's so difficult not to because THeY are personal. He tells me a lie and my mgr something else..

I doubt this man would give a shi* if anyone killed themselves.

I already brought up his bullying, In the end "it's just how he is".

Right now I feel like saying fuc* everyone there because they see what goes on and fuc* me for bein sensitive.

Perhaps I am just triggered .. perhaps this is PTSD part, idk I just feel like he wants me to kill myself... he wants to see it... .. but idk.. I was having this thought before this last -- when he complained about something that he could had just talked with me about..
Idk I've been "funny" lately... idk.. this of the year unusually am a little.. idk...

Just know that If I go the fuxk off on this man-- well it's just how I am and can't take toxicity like this, right? I know be better, yadda yada yada
I don't want to go off. But a human can only take so much

Perhaps I am PTSD triggered.. my one brother at times did tell me to go kill myself..it's an awful feeling.. and I am overwhelmed with this all.. and feel trapped, and that no one cares with their invalidation of words "it's just how he is".