Over the years I have learned so much about not just myself but humans in general.

I went thinking I needed to just learn to grieve my mom. I needed help with parenting but feared being told I was a bad parent. I thought they were my only issues.

I learned:
I am my own worst enemy and judge myself any more than others do. I have a lot higher expectations for myself than I do for others. People dont jusge me as a horrible gross person because of my past
I am lovable. People do care about me. Hugging people can be comforting. The are people who do keep their word. Loving and having great memories of a person is totally worth the pain.
There are good therapists and bad.
It is okay to cut toxic people out of my life who are toxic even if they are family.
I am not responsible for other peoples happiness.
I am a good mom who raised amazing children.

I am still on therapy because I enjoy having somebody to help me process life. Who I dont have to worry about judging me and understands me. I also hold out hope that I will get to the point where all those things I have learned actually sticks and that my past will no longer have such a hold over me.