I have bipolar, so I'm going to stay in therapy, but it's more maintenance therapy now, just talking about current things--not much about my parents, since I've dealt with that before.

Yes, I had some feelings of sorrow for how my mother was. She was emotionally neglected and abused as a child. She died a year ago at age 90. My sister and I held her hands by her hospital bed for three hours as she was dying. We sang to her and I told her I loved her and that she was a good mother, since she did the best she could with her issues.

That said, I couldn't allow myself to be emotionally mistreated by her. I kept in touch even when I didn't visit often--but went whenever she was sick, for her birthday, mother's day, etc. She actually learned to be careful about what she said because she knew I would leave if she didn't. (She also had borderline characteristics.)

The main thing is for you to see you don't deserve the abuse and are a decent person who needs to separate from her emotionally. It sounds like you are doing that.