Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelinglady
I have bipolar, so I'm going to stay in therapy, but it's more maintenance therapy now, just talking about current things--not much about my parents, since I've dealt with that before.
Yes, I had some feelings of sorrow for how my mother was. She was emotionally neglected and abused as a child. She died a year ago at age 90. My sister and I held her hands by her hospital bed for three hours as she was dying. We sang to her and I told her I loved her and that she was a good mother, since she did the best she could with her issues.
That said, I couldn't allow myself to be emotionally mistreated by her. I kept in touch even when I didn't visit often--but went whenever she was sick, for her birthday, mother's day, etc. She actually learned to be careful about what she said because she knew I would leave if she didn't. (She also had borderline characteristics.)
The main thing is for you to see you don't deserve the abuse and are a decent person who needs to separate from her emotionally. It sounds like you are doing that.  |
oh, i'm sorry to hear that about your mother. it's nice that you were able to put everything aside and be there for those times.
it's hard for me i guess because i don't think she's currently manipulating/abusing me and stuff but i still feel the lasting effects. like i just feel like i can't be myself even just when coming from the same house she's in. i can't walk past her to leave the house and then feel fine and capable once im outside because i just came from the same place as her. it's like a way that she always made me feel, just worthless and terrible and incapable. and those feelings only go away when she does, even though it's not like she's still actively doing stuff to make them worse, as far as i know. that's a big part of why it's so hard for me to get away. it creates a cycle. i can't get awayy from her without doing things that i can't do while she's there. (like go to interviews and get a job, and even if i did get one, i can't perform well when i am coming from there and returning to there at the end of the day.) i hope that makes sense