Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind
I honestly already do this - have for years. Because of this my family and I have very few conversations per year and when we do, they generally range anywhere from 5-15 minutes. However, unless I am to quit socializing altogether, that is not going to resolve all my issues. These are not people who tell me what a rotten person I am bc of xyz ... instead these are people who simply make it clear that my thoughts/feelings are not as significant as either their own or someone else.
An example would be:
Situation: A teenage boy is cheating on his teenage girlfriend. They have been dating 2 years.
Me: They are still young, yes, but they should use it as a learning experience in communication since they have been together so long. Try talking it through and see if they can work things out.
Person 1: She can never trust him again.
Person 2: You're right, she should kick him to the curb.
Me: Don't you think it's worth giving it a chance?
***silence***
Me: Well, don't you?
Person 1: why?
Me: because they been together so long
Person 1: so?
Me: nevermind
Person 1: well, what does that have to do with anything?
Me: nothing I guess, forget it.
(Small example but an example nonetheless)
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That's called a disagreement. Everyone has them. We all experience moments like that.
Have you reversed the situation? They share a view, you share an opposing view. Neither you nor they are budging, or even attempting to hear the others views. You're both just giving your view. Yet you interpret that as not being heard or listened to, but you don't see it as you doing the same to them. Yet they don't see your not accepting their stance as suggesting they aren't being listened to.
The only real difference is that you take it personally if they are that way to you, but they don't take it personal when you do it to them.
And since you so easily back down you encourage their behavior of being dismissive of you. Not taking things so personally and being willing to stand firm could change things, though it will take a long time.
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I can never be all that you want from me
And I am broken, I will fail you constantly