I have a slightly different take on this. From the time I was a child I would go up and visit the graves of my grandparents and chat a while. For the most part my family is all buried together, oddly both side paternal and maternial, in one general place. It's a beautiful old cemetary (new one just down the hill).

When my father died, he was buried right next to his mother. We set up a concrete bench. We replaced the old headstones (actually just moved them to the foot of the graves) and the new one has on the back a poem that my father wrote to my mother.

Each spring we put photos in waterproof frames of my father on the grave, along with his shadow boxes, and boxes and planters of flowers.

So here's where it gets different for me now, when I go to his grave site and find strangers sitting on the bench I find it an invasion of our privacy. He knew many people from all over the country. Most of the time, when I approach they'll say "I knew your dad, we met.... he did .... for us, thank you, I'm sorry for your loss." That's ok, but when they're strangers, I just feel violated somehow. This is a small town everyone knows everyone, I concider these people family, it's just strangers that bother me.