My Support Forums - View Single Post - Any one else have these sort of thoughts... others wanting you to hurt yourself

cashart10 · Feb 17, 2019, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beauflow

Trigger button added to being with...
These are thoughts right now.

Idk

Possible trigger:

If I may add... the person that I've been having a bullying issue continued... perhaps I am triggered?
I said I would try not to take it personally, of his last actions (a few daya ago) but it's so difficult not to because THeY are personal. He tells me a lie and my mgr something else..

I doubt this man would give a shi* if anyone killed themselves.

I already brought up his bullying, In the end "it's just how he is".

Right now I feel like saying fuc* everyone there because they see what goes on and fuc* me for bein sensitive.

Perhaps I am just triggered .. perhaps this is PTSD part, idk I just feel like he wants me to kill myself... he wants to see it... .. but idk.. I was having this thought before this last -- when he complained about something that he could had just talked with me about..
Idk I've been "funny" lately... idk.. this of the year unusually am a little.. idk...

Just know that If I go the fuxk off on this man-- well it's just how I am and can't take toxicity like this, right? I know be better, yadda yada yada
I don't want to go off. But a human can only take so much

Perhaps I am PTSD triggered.. my one brother at times did tell me to go kill myself..it's an awful feeling.. and I am overwhelmed with this all.. and feel trapped, and that no one cares with their invalidation of words "it's just how he is".

I am taking / took Friday to Monday off... I have to go back Tuesday

I am trying to avoid anything

I work with a ***** secretary who I and numerous other people have complained about because of her rudeness. Our principal literally says the same thing. Apparantly, it’s the reason she “is behind closed doors’”. And, “doesn’t deal with parents”. I mean are you freaking kidding me? If I or any teacher in the school acted that way there would be conversations followed by disciplinary actions. The special treatment some folks get is ridiculous! I’m so sorry you’re still going through this. Just know you are loved and wanted around here. I hope things look up for you very soon!