I don't know what to say clearly. I am feeling such a failure.

I was graduated a year ago with great GPA (cum laude) from reputable university in my country, I have several organization experiences, volunteerism, assistant lecturer experiences, internship, national competition, and even international conference. I get a lot of rejection from many companies, big and small companies, private and government companies. Many of my friends, that had lower GPA, less organization, competition, academic experiences, get a job easily (some of them because of their parent).

My mother is sick right now, as a CKD patient that should get haemodialysis twice a week which I should take my mom to hospital twice a week. I am feeling such a failure because all of my hardwork since in school and university are useless. My friend already boost up their career after their graduation which is the same day with me. But, I am just a useless, failure person.

Another family patient in hospital (which I take my mom into) are calling me a lazy jobless because I don't have work. I always try my best in every recruitment process but the companies always reject me. I am counting there are more than 100 companies that reject me. I am feeling stressful and don't have a feeling to do anything.

I always wanted to suicide. I want to end myself at the end of March 2019 if I still unemployed. I think myself as a failure and can't ever get any job if after 1 year graduation still jobless.

I wish you guys live in a great way, and one thing that I learn, you don't have to be great in school or university to get a job. It's useless.