This is a huge issue for me, eg dealing w co dependence. This is an unfortunate term,because it sounds like the co dependent is the dependent one, when in fact this is about neglecting oneself to be constantly helping others. This is a common problem for women anyway, since our traditional roles were nurturing. My husband, by ignoring everything, tends to push off all his considerable health issues onto me, and,rather than have him ha a stroke or heart attack, I tend to fall for it. However,he makes no attempt to understand my bipolar. Though I tremendously admire AA for alcoholics, I think a looser structure, not 12 step would be better for co dependence.
I think most big cities have co dependents anonymous meetings.