I was hoping to inspire you to think outside of the box and not feel trapped by your mom's will/desires/guilt trips and can't do's.
I've watched such things transpire irl with a couple of individuals and it's very difficult to watch from the outside.
I reflect back on my mom's words when I was in my early 20s and for me, it was better to have the rift and my own seething resentment to her at various points in time than to have been used as her emotional/financial crutch. It's such a gray area because she had her finer points as well.