My mom brought up a good point this morning. When I was in high school, I waited quite some time before I told anyone I was suffering and I was 14 so my hormones were all over the place. Then, at around 28, I had a psychotic break so I didn’t know I was sick and it took a while for the cracks to show through so my illness went on way too long then too. Plus, in 5 years I had 2 babies and 2 miscarriages (one very early, one at 12 weeks) so my hormones were out of whack then too. Those are the two instances that took a substantially long time for me to improve. This time, with a capable doctor, we caught and treated it early like we did last time I was sick and it only lasted a few months then. So, that does bring me some comfort.
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*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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