I have a different take on this - or at least on a more commercial level. You can take it or leave it, but I've been stuck in a tough commercial deal recently and realised how much my bosses have explicitly taught me about business.

I should also say that I have anxiety crises, bad ones, super bad ones. In the past I've endured them but now I am having to get familiar with my emotional geography because I don't have therapeutic help and I need to negotiate some difficult deals. Some days I learn a lot about myself, and some days I take sleep meds because I'm exhausted - also some tough Work in Progress!

But in business I've learned that OCCASIONALLY (only occasionally because it's so uncomfortable for me) I have to take action that is going to seriously upset someone - and I need to take responsibility for riding that out. Being in the vulnerable child part of me and placating the authority figures - which is what I've done at work and what I see you doing somewhat - doesn't cut it.

Recently I had to override some professionals working for me. I tried persuasion but they were too entrenched in their own comfort zone to listen. So I trapped them into an agreement that they didn't see coming. At that moment they were furious and told me so: "sometimes you don't realise how nasty your behaviour is". Now two weeks later, it's obvious that I was right. If I hadn't overridden them, I'd be "stuffed".

It might be a good idea to weigh up other people's emotional reactions and whether confrontation is the only possible route forward, but if you need to confront then take responsibility for the havoc that it might wreke inside you... and do it .

You boss has his own emotional triggers and limitations: another learning curve for your internal emotional geography perhaps.

Sorry if I'm obscure or intruding.

I'm just tryng to say that if your boss isn't going to run with your best ideas - for whatever reason - then you might need to let him know that you are going past him and to DO THAT. The emotional havoc is a consequence - his emotions and your emotions.

A boss once advised me about something several decades ago when I was emotionally distressed, and in my current situation his business advice is saving my life.